?

-what is God but an idea for something we do not know
but who am I to guess on eternity and the things unknown
-I feel that i should just be quite and do what i am told
and fall in line and not be so bold
-But if there is a higher power out somewhere in the galaxy
than he gave me the will to think and thinking is ecstasy
-with this high of knowledge i know i really am oblivious
to really anything worth knowing but i am trying this is obvious
-the idea of death scares me i don't want to be a pile of bones
yet in life we are faced with questions of love, hate, friendship and i have realized i already am alone
-But still the question remains what is beyond this flash of light
is there a God waiting to judge the choices of my life
-If he is there what is he going to tell me
when all of my choices thus far have been selfish and ugly
-would i let myself into the kingdom of love
or send myself to hell never able to look above
-The fact remains that i am undecided
and nothing in my life has persuaded or enlightened
-I find myself searching for the answers
But i keep turning to the toxins of the world that bring me cancers
-Please God send me a sign so that i may be changed
before my heart, mind, body, and soul will slip away alone, sad, and aged